I can't work under these conditions!

'Where's our dressing room?' I say, as I follow the event organiser through the crowd. She is neatly dressed in matching beige. We arrive at a door on the side of the building.'Oh, we don't have a dressing room for performers,' she says. 'Ri-ight.' I wait for the inevitable.'We've put you in the disabled toilet. Hope that's OK.' She smiles and doesn't wait for an answer before teetering away, her clipboard flapping. I push open the door to the toilet cubicle. The smell reaches me first ...Argh! Oh thank heavens; that was just a horrible, horrible dream. Here I am in my nice office. At my nice desk. Phew.Now, we all have pet peeves about our workplaces: not enough light, arctic air-conditioning, getting dressed in the disabled toilet AGAIN. But what makes a workplace great? Biscuits and beverages? Room to do your interpretive dance warm-up? A quiet corner, where you can go and everyone knows that means 'don't disturb her, she's THINKING'? When I'm writing or editing I have some basic criteria ... but more on that in a minute.I was inspired to write this post because I've been spying on a workplace near mine. They sculpt things, I'm guessing. They've got a decent yard out the front of a roomy workshop. On the wall inside is a mounted board with about six dozen plaster penises. Or penii. Or perhaps they're something else entirely, like fleur de lyse. But they look like, well, penises. The blokes (I've never seen a sheila in the workshop) play Bowie and the Smiths. I look forward to walking past them every day just to hear their playlist. But here's the cherry on the cake — I walked past yesterday and they were playing ping-pong on a new, full-size table. Nice.Me, I need my desk to be the right height. I like to wear headphones because they make me look cool. Sorry, did I say that out loud? I meant: I wear headphones to cut out noise. I like space for stretching. I like a gallon of weak brewed coffee to hand, just like the way they used to drink it in 70s American sitcoms. Then I'm good to go.What makes your work nest work?